Trying Too Hard

Happy Get To Know Your Customers Day!

Here's a funny fact: I have this odd condition where I feel emotions, but I don't really feel them. 

For example, I am stressed because I may have missed an important deadline, but I actually only feel like 30% or less of what I say I feel/act. It is like I make myself believe that I am more frazzled than I am, simply because I feel that anyone else in my situation would be. Another example is anger. I have a bit too much fun being angry. It's not that I am too upset, but it is a) easier to keep being mad and b) I really don't know why I continue, I just go with it.

I think it's high time that I stop acting the way I feel society expects me to act - I know myself well enough to realize that if when I was younger I had not spent so much energy on "fitting in" (which, by the way, never happened) then I would be more mature and carry myself better. Oh well. I can only try to catch up to myself, but it is more difficult now.

Back to meh "stressful situation." I went through all this work to *hopefully* be a part-time PSEO student next year, but it didn't even cross my mind to check my mail for an acceptance. I have also been getting many spam letters from colleges, so I don't pay attention to anything I get anymore - in fact, most of it goes in the trash. Well, the other day I mentioned in passing that I need to take the placement test before I am officially in, and my mom thought little of it. Today though, she realized that I could have thrown away the letter, and luckily she found it in a pile of mail from Spring Break. 

Unfortunately, the priority deadline was four days ago.

I  might not get the classes I want.

Taught by whom I want.

When I want.

Which is a problem. I need to work my PSEO schedule around my high school schedule and vice versa. All I can do now is put my trust in God. I figure that He already had a hand in this though, because how incredible is it that my mom remembered something may be in the mail? Or that my letter was oh-so-conveniently not thrown away? I thought that I would not get the letter for a while, so it was the furthest thing from my mind. I thought I had time.

Great philosophy of life:

Amen to that. I have been trying to eat healthier, but my resolve today is quickly slipping through my fingers. I barely spare a backwards glance, though, because chocolate is just so yummy.

There had better be chocolate in heaven. And corn. And milk. And hoodies.

I wonder if there are accents in heaven. I mean, they can just be so dang cute, and I figure that whatever we are speaking could have variations.

"How are you Eliza?"

"Oh, Grace! I haven't seen you since before you were born! And is that a NW accent I hear? I'm just down the street on Ephraim Blvd. You should come over and speak your amazingly adorable accent for my entire family to hear. Let's see how many generations I can round up in an hour, and then you can recite Psalms for us, 'kay?"

Anyway, I will soon need to start uploading pictures of my very, very attractive, and very, very 90's pants and ish that I scrounged up at Goodwill. Me gusta.

xoxo

McCall

Happy Get To Know Your Customers Day!

Here's a funny fact: I have this odd condition where I feel emotions, but I don't really feel them. 

For example, I am stressed because I may have missed an important deadline, but I actually only feel like 30% or less of what I say I feel/act. It is like I make myself believe that I am more frazzled than I am, simply because I feel that anyone else in my situation would be. Another example is anger. I have a bit too much fun being angry. It's not that I am too upset, but it is a) easier to keep being mad and b) I really don't know why I continue, I just go with it.

I think it's high time that I stop acting the way I feel society expects me to act - I know myself well enough to realize that if when I was younger I had not spent so much energy on "fitting in" (which, by the way, never happened) then I would be more mature and carry myself better. Oh well. I can only try to catch up to myself, but it is more difficult now.

Back to meh "stressful situation." I went through all this work to *hopefully* be a part-time PSEO student next year, but it didn't even cross my mind to check my mail for an acceptance. I have also been getting many spam letters from colleges, so I don't pay attention to anything I get anymore - in fact, most of it goes in the trash. Well, the other day I mentioned in passing that I need to take the placement test before I am officially in, and my mom thought little of it. Today though, she realized that I could have thrown away the letter, and luckily she found it in a pile of mail from Spring Break. 

Unfortunately, the priority deadline was four days ago.

I  might not get the classes I want.

Taught by whom I want.

When I want.

Which is a problem. I need to work my PSEO schedule around my high school schedule and vice versa. All I can do now is put my trust in God. I figure that He already had a hand in this though, because how incredible is it that my mom remembered something may be in the mail? Or that my letter was oh-so-conveniently not thrown away? I thought that I would not get the letter for a while, so it was the furthest thing from my mind. I thought I had time.

Great philosophy of life:

Amen to that. I have been trying to eat healthier, but my resolve today is quickly slipping through my fingers. I barely spare a backwards glance, though, because chocolate is just so yummy.

There had better be chocolate in heaven. And corn. And milk. And hoodies.

I wonder if there are accents in heaven. I mean, they can just be so dang cute, and I figure that whatever we are speaking could have variations.

"How are you Eliza?"

"Oh, Grace! I haven't seen you since before you were born! And is that a NW accent I hear? I'm just down the street on Ephraim Blvd. You should come over and speak your amazingly adorable accent for my entire family to hear. Let's see how many generations I can round up in an hour, and then you can recite Psalms for us, 'kay?"

Anyway, I will soon need to start uploading pictures of my very, very attractive, and very, very 90's pants and ish that I scrounged up at Goodwill. Me gusta.

xoxo

McCall